Thursday, March 8, 2018

The over-thinker
Okay. Am I overthinking? Why am I overthinking? Do other people overthink like me? Why do I overthink so much these days? Why do I feel weak when I overthink?

Everyone might have gone through this at one point of time or maybe still is.  Each person overthinks in their own ways & deals with it differently. I’ve had one too many days of this… Some on good days where it never really bothered me much because I was in a sunshine state of mind. Some on bad days, where everything feels like it’s falling apart and there’s nothing I could do to save myself from this awful feeling.

A feeling? Was it that overpowering to have ruin my day, my week? The truth is no it wasn’t! All because my mind plotted some twisted story against me when there was no problem to even begin with. There were different stages to my overthinking habit, the trivial ones where I could quickly pull myself out off. The muddle ones where I would curl up in bed with my hands on my head begging for it to stop. The little things that scheme up big problems in my head. Those are the ones that I have discovered myself experiencing especially when I’m alone. Sometimes it takes so much from me to even fight this feeling away. It’s so much easier to drown in negative thoughts than it is to bring yourself up again.
I am a difficult person to deal with, no doubt about that. But so is everyone else in their own ways. I’m sensitive, emotional, occasionally mean to people who I love, often lash out when I’m stressed or angry, I cry for things that maybe petty for others, I’m impatient and often misinterpret situations that has caused me something much more valuable. definitely my biggest flaw yet.
With all these negativity shuffling in my mind, it’s hard to recollect all the promising traits of myself. Thats where things come spiraling down in reality too.
But when my mind starts to unclogged that stage, my thoughts become calmer & relax, and so do I. Many times i look up for ways to help ease the overthinking in me. Watching Anna Akana who has significantly described every detailed part of overthinking that I am experiencing was so helpful. One of the many things that most youtubers say: Meditations, pen down your thoughts, take up a hobby, talking to a friend.
d, or get busy. With all these tips, I found myself experimenting with each of it slowly. Take meditation for an example, it was super hard to focus in the beginning but once I found a track that suited me, it became much easier to unwind my thoughts. Another tip would be Headspace (meditation app) with a speaker. It both had a positive effect on me but it was temporary. Self-healing takes practice and time, commit to it and persist. Lately I’ve been jotting down my daily activity or things I’ve got to do.  This is when I’m energetic enough, other days I’m more laid back.
This is me, writing about how I’ve been feeling today. So, I’m still learning about how to overcome being an over-thinkerJ